What It’s Like Being A Goan Who Doesn’T Drink Alcohol

I should be a drinker.

At least, society thinks I should.

I’m Goan. I’m Catholic. I live alone in a new city. I’m in my twenties.

I fall into every ‘drinking stereotype’ in the book and then some.

But it’s true. I don’t drink.

I’ll give you a moment to gasp at that declaration. People usually do.

It’s funny. I never judge anyone for choosing to drink alcohol, but I’m often judged for choosing not to because of where I’m from – a state where alcohol is dirt cheap and free-flowing.

So I thought of taking the opportunity to tell you what it’s like being a paradox in a world full of stereotypes.

But before that, let me tell you why I choose not to drink.

Firstly, I find it immensely unappealing. I never liked the smell or taste of alcohol and I could never understand why people think it’s a necessity in order to have fun.

Does that mean I’ve never had fun? Or that I’m a boring goody two-shoes?

On the contrary, I have more fun in clubs and parties than most people, all while being 100% sober. I don’t need liquid courage to go up and sing karaoke or dance without a care in the world. I definitely don’t need to get high to speak my mind – people who know me will tell you that I’m brutally honest regardless. As for all the drunken hugs people give each other, I can hug it out while drinking my lime soda. The world needs more hugs, anyway.

A part of my aversion stems from the fact that I love being in control – of myself and of whatever else I can have power over. The idea of being even a little tipsy and out of control is a scary thought. Also, alcohol leaves one worse off, not better. Fun? Not by a long shot.

Strangely, this small insignificant part of my life hugely impacts the way people perceive me. I sometimes wish that alcohol wasn’t such a big part of life and more so, wasn’t something that Goa is identified with. So that maybe I can feel less alone.

When most get to know that I don’t drink, the most common question is “why?” There’s no good answer to this question, and I know that because I’ve tried them all. More often that not, I’ll reply with the truth, “I don’t like the way it tastes.” Obviously, this answer doesn’t seem to satisfy most people and they will continue to dig until they’ve found a satisfactory answer.

“But how is that possible? You’re from Goa!” they say.

So? You’re a Mumbaikar- do you eat Vada Pao all day? Gujaratis, do you do the Garba 24×7?

“Are you joking? Have you even tried it?”

Let me break it down for you. That glass you’re holding… I don’t want one or need one. What’s so hard to understand? How does this warrant a third degree investigation into my lifestyle?

Many proceed to suggest names of drinks they think I would enjoy, or cocktails I could order. Well, genius, isn’t it kind of obvious that if I like alcohol in the slightest, I would have probably figured that out for myself during the last quarter century?

“What a waste of being from Goa. What do you drink if you don’t drink booze, especially on weekends?”

The only thing that’s wasted the time I spend listening to your drunken rants. Come back when you want to bid for a piece of my healthy liver, k?

And regarding what I do if I don’t drink? Same as you – I talk, eat, laugh, shop, socialize and have a hell of a lot more money saved at the end of the month. Sometimes… I even stay home doing nothing at all. Shocking!

Then there are the close friends who say “Man, I really want to see you get drunk one day.”

Sorry to shatter your dreams, buddy. Not in this life. And might I add, that if this is all you aspire for, I do think that aiming for something bigger would be a far better use of your time.

Teetotalers, have you ever told someone that you don’t drink, only to have them offer you a drink two minutes later? To me, it happens all the time. If you’re a vegetarian and I offered you a steak, would you dig in? Like, what is this logic? Please save the money you would have otherwise bought my overpriced drink for and buy me cheesecake, if you must.

There’s no dearth of snarky comments, especially when you’re from a state where alcohol flows like water.

“How lame.” “You’re so uptight.” “A Goan who doesn’t drink? C’mon! You MUST be lying!”

Oh wow. We are in fourth grade and I’ve given in to your peer pressure. Quick, bring me 3 vodka shots!

“But don’t you drink in church on Sunday?”

This one makes me laugh – more at the ignorance of the comment than anything else. It’s a church, not a disco. And no, we don’t sit there with our chilled beers, we drink a drop of wine maybe four times in our lives in Church. *Sigh* people are such experts on Goa… or so they think.

Let’s not forget the other kind of folks – “Good for you. You aren’t missing much,” they say this as they take another sip of their drink. So much for irony.

Since relying on drinks to have fun has become the norm these days, it takes courage to be a rebel and stand out. Ultimately, its not worth changing your choices for others anyway – people always have something to make a big deal out of.

Besides, what’s the point of all your “fun” if you look and feel miserably hung over the next day. I could certainly do without that.

Do you relate to this blog post? Do people who equate Goa with alcohol get your goat? Go ahead and share this blog post with them.

As for me, I’m going to bookmark it and forward it to the confused lot of drinkers at my next party.

Bye!!